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[personal profile] grimcygnet
what do you mean it's 6AM and i gotta get up in three hours to see my friends in stuttgart? anyways, i can't sleep because i'm hungry but literally nothing in the kitchen sounds good. i'd love to just pop a bagel in the toaster but the sound of the toaster popping is NOT inconspicuous at all. i know i'm a grown ass person and nobody gives a fuck but i'm scared of like, everything. something something that tumblr post about being scared of being perceived. or maybe it was twitter.

i'd seriously rather be sleeping on the couch right now because its way cooler in the living room, but there's really no point in moving there now because its almost sunrise and i sleep in like, total darkness. what i should've done is just sleep there from the start and then move to my bed (or just put on one of those eye masks for sleeping) (anyone who says those are stupid can literally suck it). maybe that's what would fix my sleep schedule. i would be sleeping with the door open if i wasn't paranoid. THERE'S CREATURES

also i promise i'm not on my computer with like 3 hours of sleep. i'm on my phone with the night setting on and my brightness down. my laptop keyboard literally glows rainbow. its too early for rainbows, i'm not that gay (HUMONGOUS lie). is that really how you spell humongous?

anyways i gotta choose whether or not i wanna be pretty or be a guy (makeup or none) tomorrow, which is like, pretty big for one of them dirty theys. my acne is really bad which makes the decision harder, like do i cover it up or be nice to my skin? all i know is that the emo eyeliner and the binder are non-negotiables (holy shit i sound like a 13 year old 2020-alt kid with the huge winged eyeliner GET OUT OF MY HEAD).

also i'm thinking about gerard way and feederism. thats like diabolically and dastardly weird but hey at least i'm not thinking about them in the same context. unless he can grill me some salmon and not make the texture weird. i honestly kinda doubt that he'll even season the thing right... disappointing. you did not just read that (jedi hand wave)

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