kissing the homies goodnight

what do you mean it's 6AM and i gotta get up in three hours to see my friends in stuttgart? anyways, i can't sleep because i'm hungry but literally nothing in the kitchen sounds good. i'd love to just pop a bagel in the toaster but the sound of the toaster popping is NOT inconspicuous at all. i know i'm a grown ass person and nobody gives a fuck but i'm scared of like, everything. something something that tumblr post about being scared of being perceived. or maybe it was twitter.

i'd seriously rather be sleeping on the couch right now because its way cooler in the living room, but there's really no point in moving there now because its almost sunrise and i sleep in like, total darkness. what i should've done is just sleep there from the start and then move to my bed (or just put on one of those eye masks for sleeping) (anyone who says those are stupid can literally suck it). maybe that's what would fix my sleep schedule. i would be sleeping with the door open if i wasn't paranoid. THERE'S CREATURES

also i promise i'm not on my computer with like 3 hours of sleep. i'm on my phone with the night setting on and my brightness down. my laptop keyboard literally glows rainbow. its too early for rainbows, i'm not that gay (HUMONGOUS lie). is that really how you spell humongous?

anyways i gotta choose whether or not i wanna be pretty or be a guy (makeup or none) tomorrow, which is like, pretty big for one of them dirty theys. my acne is really bad which makes the decision harder, like do i cover it up or be nice to my skin? all i know is that the emo eyeliner and the binder are non-negotiables (holy shit i sound like a 13 year old 2020-alt kid with the huge winged eyeliner GET OUT OF MY HEAD).

also i'm thinking about gerard way and feederism. thats like diabolically and dastardly weird but hey at least i'm not thinking about them in the same context. unless he can grill me some salmon and not make the texture weird. i honestly kinda doubt that he'll even season the thing right... disappointing. you did not just read that (jedi hand wave)

oops

aaand i just missed my train to böblingen. i'm waiting for the next one and i'm gonna be late to stuttgart. but that's okay i guess, im usually not late to things... but i still feel like a bad friend. i let logan know i'm gonna be late and he said it's okay, but damn. maybe we should hang out more often and be there early so i seem like less of a bad friend. he's a cool dude even though he sends me like, way too many reels on instagram. i really could have stopped in one these little gas station stores to get a vape or something. but i dont even know where i'd hide that. or if i wanna risk vaping at all. ive only took a few hits from friends who offered me theirs.

me and the homies lookin at art fo free

convinced the guys to go to the stuttgart art museum since its free for like half of this year for the anniversary or something. they seemed actually interested in it which was GREAT. great because these are the friends who joke around all the time, and i half-expected them to think it was boring. my favorite painting in the whole gallery (that we saw, we decided to go in like an hour before closing) was Ico II by Vivian Greven. it's there temporarily, so that's probably why i couldn't find a postcard with her art on it. i did get a georgia o'keeffe poppy postcard, so that's pretty cool. Will bought a little turtle toy for kids in the gift shop for some reason? but who am i to judge, it was cute. they wanna hang out next friday in september so we can go to MediaMarkt for CDs.

i dont have a CD player, but damn, i'd love to have one just to listen to actual physical media. i'd love to have CDs of these shoegaze albums that no one even knows, so if i show them and they ask about it, i can literally just set the CD player in the living room and play it while we talk or do something else. it sounds way better than saying "yeah lemme connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker and play it on spotify." that just sounds dumb and a little unserious. saying "yeah, lemme grab my CDs and we'll listen to it together" would just feel awesome. i like sharing.